Still There
by K.D. Toling
Summary: Ootp spoilers and one-shot: It's been a year since someone close to Harry died. Feeling empty inside, Harry is eased by the wise-beyond-her-appearance-words of Luna, and perhaps by more than just her words.


Author's Note: I was just thumbing through the fifth Harry Potter book and I happened to land on the page where Luna and Harry talk while Luna is looking for her things near the end of the book. There was definitely something there; not exactly sparks of romance yet, but still something. It interested me so much that I decided to write this to try and sort through it better myself. You could call this a Harry/Luna ficlet, but it really only suggests that idea rather than does anything serious with it. I hope you enjoy it!

Disclaimer: You know the drill: Rowling's, not mine.

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~*~Still There~*~

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Harry sat by himself in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, his Firebolt lying on the ground next to him as the last rays of the sun's light faded away behind the distant trees of the Forbidden Forest. The knot in his stomach that a few hours of flying had managed to lighten returned with renewed intensity as the first few stars appeared as tiny pricks of light above him. Harry frowned slightly; he'd known this day was coming, and now that it was here, he felt an emptiness inside of himself quite unlike anything else he'd ever felt. It had been exactly one year since his godfather, Sirius Black, had been murdered by his cousin and Death Eater, Bellatrix Lestrange. His sadness briefly forgotten, Harry stood suddenly and fingered his wand as his old rage toward her flickered again, remembering her taunting voice after she'd killed Sirius, _"Aaaaaah…did you _love_ him, little baby Potter?"_

Harry clenched his fists, the wand in his right hand pushing painfully into his palm, but he didn't care. He glared into the stands of the Quidditch pitch, imagining and almost wishing that he would see Bellatrix Lestrange, but all he saw was the weather-worn wood that made up the stands. 

"You won't get away with it," he said quietly, his gaze still fixed on the stands. "I'll make you pay."

"Make me pay for what?" came a voice from no more than five feet behind him.

Harry started and whirled around, his wand before him. Luna Lovegood stood behind him, seemingly unperturbed by the fact that someone was pointing a wand at her as she watched Harry curiously with her large silvery eyes. Harry, who hadn't realized that he'd been holding his breath, exhaled in a long, low breath and lowered his wand.

"Make me pay for what?" repeated Luna, still staring fixedly at Harry. "I didn't break something of yours. At least, I don't think I did."

"I wasn't talking to you," said Harry shortly, shoving his wand roughly back into his pocket. Luna raised her pale eyebrows, and Harry realized how rude he'd sounded.

" Sorry," he added hastily. "It's just…well, it's not a very good day."

"You must miss him," said Luna. 

Harry looked at her in slight astonishment; he hadn't thought Luna was likely to remember what day of the week it was, let alone that it was the anniversary of Sirius' death.

"Yeah," he managed to say. 

Luna nodded slowly. "I figured you would," she said. 

Harry shifted uncomfortably on the balls of his feet. He didn't know why, but he was feeling a strange sensation rising in his stomach, and it didn't help any that Luna kept staring at him, her large eyes reflecting the pale glow of the moon as it rose into the sky. Feeling that he would burst if the silence continued any longer, he said, "Er…how did you know I was here, anyway?"

"I didn't," she said simply. "Well, I didn't know that you were _still_ here, anyway. I saw you go outside on my way to dinner and I figured you came here since you had your broom with you. It was so hot in the common room just now that I thought I'd come out here for a while."

"Oh," said Harry, wishing he could think of something that sounded remotely interesting to say, but Luna beat him to it. 

Cocking her head to one side, she said, "You know, if you do this, that cloud over there looks a bit like a dog." 

Harry stared at her for a few moments before the weight of her words sunk in. He turned and looked in the direction Luna was looking, cocking his head just as she had and searching for the cloud, becoming frustrated when he couldn't find it.

"Look directly through the middle of the center scoring hoop," said Luna from behind him. 

Harry complied, and this time he saw it. Luna was right; there was a cloud that looked remarkably like a large shaggy dog drifting slowly just below the moon. Harry watched the cloud as though his eyes were connected with it, experiencing a similar feeling of connection inside of himself as the knot in his stomach loosened slightly.

"D'you think…" he asked hoarsely, still unable to take his eyes off of the cloud.

"What else could it be?" came Luna's dream-like voice. "Dad would love this if he could see it; he'd put it on the cover of this month's issue of _The Quibbler_."

Harry could only nod vaguely; his attention was focused entirely on the cloud. Slowly, however, the cloud drifted out of the moonlight and metamorphosed into another, unrecognizable shape.

"It's gone," he said quietly, disappointment evident in his voice as he straightened his neck and turned back to Luna, who had done the same. At his words, however, she stood on her tiptoes and peered over his shoulder, squinting into the sky. After a few seconds, she smiled slightly and turned her gaze back to Harry.

"I can still see it," she said. 

Harry looked back over his shoulder, but there was no need to bend his neck to be able to see the fact that the cloud no longer even remotely resembled the dog that Sirius had been able to change into.

"No, it's not," he said, feeling slightly miffed. "It doesn't look anything like a dog anymore."

"No, it doesn't, does it?" replied Luna thoughtfully. 

Harry felt confused.

"But--didn't you just say it did?" he demanded. Luna smiled slightly at he frustrated look on his face and shook her head.

"I didn't say it still looked like a dog," she said, "I just said it was still there. Just because you can't see something doesn't mean it isn't there." 

And with a final smile at the flabbergasted look on Harry's face as he stared at her with his mouth slightly open, she turned and strode back to the castle, her dirty-blonde hair bouncing slightly as she walked.

Harry watched her until she exited the pitch and vanished from sight. After a moment, he closed his mouth and sighed quietly. Deciding that he had better take a leaf out of Luna's book and get inside before it got any later, he shouldered his Firebolt and walked slowly back to the castle, pondering what Luna had said. It was odd, but the knot in his stomach seemed to have disappeared within the last few minutes.

The oak front door of the castle came into view just in time for Harry to see Luna disappear inside of it, and the strange sensation he'd felt a few minutes before seemed to return as the moonlight reflected slightly off her long hair. Harry halted, and for the first time that day, felt a sort of happy feeling inside of him. It wasn't a feeling he was familiar with, nor did he know exactly how to describe it at the moment.

But it was still there.

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~fin~

I hope you enjoyed the story, even though it's a bit short. Send me a review and let me know what you thought.


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